Tuesday, March 15, 2016

week 15: #aintnorestfortherighteous

I feel like missionaries well may be not all but at least me suffer
from multi-personality disorder. As missionaries we take upon us the Name of Christ. So for 18 months I am Sister Gore, a Representative of Christ. But I also know that I am Emily, (that's the natural man part of me) and it's become much clearer the difference between Emily and the Sister Gore. What Emily wants is different than what Sister Gore wants; it's a pretty real struggle. I hated high school, hated it. I was trying to be something I wasn't, while trying to live my standards, it was impossible. I went to BYU-Idaho and although I made stupid choices, I began to figure out who I was and wasn't afraid of being myself. I find myself now, trying to figure myself out again, trying to be real, but also remembering that I am not Emily right now. Her wants and desires don't really matter to an extent. I represent Jesus Christ, the Son of God, my Savior and Redeemer, I need to live as he would. I need to say what he would. I need to talk as he would. I need to do as he would. I need to see as He would. So I've decide that each day (or week, I haven't started so idk what will work best) I'm going to focus on a Christ like attribute. And I may break them down so that it can be more focused. Like today (Wednesday) I am going to be more Kind. I am going to be more loving with my words and less sarcastic. I am going to compliment people instead of poke fun. I don't mind being "the sassy one" but it often comes off as being mean and I don't like that. I am trying to be like Jesus.
This week has been so strange. I don't even know what happened.
But it was soooooo good!! We found a new investigator and over
achieved our LARCs and other lessons!!! We were going to have a lesson with T but at the last minute had to go to work so we were super bummed!! But we stopped by the next day and had a lesson on his doorstep. We committed him to keep the Word of Wisdom so please keep him in your prayers!!! He planned on coming to church and he even wanted to bring his mom! He was so excited!! But he didn't show up. We're not sure what happened but hopefully he'll come next week!
Friday we went to see a potential investigator who wasn't home. He lives on the same street as a less active. He's pretty lonely and depressed and never answers the door. Well, I felt prompted to knock on his door anyway. We did and he answered it! He was so happy we dropped by! We set up a time to come back and he said he wanted to start coming to Book of Mormon class! I bore my testimony during Sacrament meeting on Sunday!! I've never done that voluntarily so I was pretty excited and proud of myself! The spirit was just so strong and I don't know if I'll be transferred before the next opportunity. I am just so grateful for the Book of Mormon! I'm grateful for the power it has and the special Spirit it brings!! Our mission president challenged us to Read the Book of Mormon in 60 days and to mark with red pencil all of the references in it that refer to Jesus Christ and the Atonement.  As the pages are turning red, I am even more convinced of the truthfulness of the Book!! I am more and more grateful for my Savior and His Atonement! Sorry this sounds lame!! But it was an amazing week full of miracles I just can never describe them!
I love being a missionary!!!
I love you!!!

Sister Gore

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